It’s clearly been a decade since we last spoke…let’s break it down yo.
You Should’ve Known That By Now, Bro
I think the most cliche lesson that I’ve genuinely learned this year is; don’t say, do.
This year, I did and failed at many, many things. Succeed a couple times. Missed opportunities due to laziness. But mostly failed. Even after feeling a sort of “this is my time” feeling for a better portion of the year.
All I can really say is that you really do learn from your failures. Each time is an opportunity to recalibrate your approach.
There is no “My Time”
There is no magic moment. No big break. Ask any of your friends or peers who you admire or aspire to be like, where their journeys began, and I’m sure they’d tell you. Anyone who offers you a different construct, is the exception. I promise.
Your “magic” moment probably won’t come until you’ve had a thousand regular, often times, shitty ones.
The Magic you’re looking for is called….Work.
The thing that a good portion of us are desperately searching for is hard work and dedication. Dedication to ourselves involving at least a mere resemblance of our goals and dreams — not someone else’s.
We dream larger than life, go to our day jobs, then never follow through. And let me tell you, family, that inspires nothing but perpetual ambiguity and madness.
Your Ecosystem yo
We have to perform a formal assessment of the things and people that are important to us. Do they match up with what we were thinking when we were thinking of our happiness and success?
The people and the environment in which you insert yourself is your responsibility. We also have an obligation to ourselves to realize the power and importance of all these elements.
But, Fuck Bitches though.
We must also realize that, while, yes, inspiration, and strong support systems are amazing and important; family, we have to do it for ourselves. Do it for your dream. Do it for your goals. People are great, when they’re for you. But. They’re usually not.
Do. It. For. Yourself.
You wanna be a chef? Cook for yourself. You wanna be a singer? Sing for yourself. You wanna be a doctor? Operate on yourself yo.
You can chase your dreams and your goals. You just have to make time for them.
Oh, snap. What time is it?!
It is sincerely, super, extra possible to chase your dreams and have a day job or two. The people doing it have no more time in a day or any less responsibility than we do. They simply actively made a decision to make the time to make it happen.
Not Buzzfeed, not Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Netflix, Hulu, Bravo, MTV, VH1, nor Disney got anything for you, like literally, nothing. Even if you have kids, dissect your time (like your finances) and figure where it’s going.
The “28 Reasons Why This is Important”, the “10 Ways to Know if He Loves You”, our favorite cat video, favorite T-Swift lyric, Frozen, Star Wars, favorite scene from Empire, the Walking Dead, and the 7th time you saw Mocking Jay, taught us absolutely nothing. Except how to waste a shameful amount of time while being wildly unaware of it.
I Ain’t Hatin Yo
Homies, this isn’t me condemning your tastes or critiquing your life choices. This is merely a self assessment, ain’t nothing that I’m saying law.
But a lot us have a habit of wanting it, but never sincerely end up going for it. Y’all, if we don’t do it, it won’t get done. Also, no one is gonna help you make it happen, until you lay the ground work.
I think about me mum a lot these days…
My sisters with babies, it’s okay to remember yourself sometimes. Your kids will grow and learn that, much like being a mother, you also have a great, great obligation to yourself to remain a person. Just as you have an obligation to your babies to be a mother.
Everyone’s Favorite Goal…bye, bye fat jeans
I really haven’t a clue how to word this part.
Y’all, I lost mucho weight this year and people often ask me, “Oh my God, how’d you do it?!” Brothers and sisters. There’s no magic plan, pill, program, food, diet, or Zumba class. Truth is, all that crap works yo. You just have to do it.
If your excuse is having no time or being tired. Stop. You ain’t ready yet. Recalibrate and we’ll talk again soon. When you actually want to, you’ll do it.
Oh. My. Goodness. There it is.
Subsequently, after deciding to lost weight. I learned that literally most things in this life are achieved after you decide to achieve them.
If you want it to happen. Do it.
You wanna not be fat? Work out. You wanna travel? Travel. You wanna save money? Save money. You wanna be around inspiring people? Look for them.
You will try and you will fail. Many times. It will suck and it will be hard, but when you get there. Oh my God, it’s sublime, bro. The feeling of gratification that comes with making something happen for yourself is irreplaceable.
You wondered when I was gonna mention black folks, huh?
Even those of us who want to see real racial, social, and economic reform in our great country; aren’t really doing much to aid in the process of revolution. If we want it. We gotta do it.
Write, post, rally, march, donate, find the right circles, boycott, repeat. This can happen, if we actually do it. All of us.
It’s easy to get discouraged thinking of how the brilliant people before fought and laid the ground work for all of us, we’re shot down. Family, all I can say is that it wasn’t time, but, now it is.
If I’m gone tell it, then I gotta tell it all.
Anyone who knows me well enough would tell you that I wasn’t always concerned about all this or anything else for that matter. I had a distant, distant, pipe dream of being a working musician. But after mildly trying it go for it, I eventually started doing almost absolutely nothing to make it happen.
I discovered, just before the beginning of this year, that I was falling into the pit. The pit of being about and for nothing at all. Just existing. And I couldn’t have it.
“Knowing my condition is the reason I must change” – Lauryn Hill
It still ain’t easy yo
Even after having this mini self revolution, I must admit, old habits most certainly die hard. The cycle of “do nothing” is a hard one to break.
I regressed and progressed many, many, many times this year.
What I discovered is that those regressive moments were generally the result of my no longer working on myself, for myself. And, y’all, when our value systems become tainted, the structure will crumble.
There was a whole lot of crumbling in my life yo. Guys, keep yourself on track. When you realize you’re off, use your blinker, and get back on.
Well, this has been an interesting read, man….thanks.
Family, this post is mostly for myself, and you, but mostly me. It’s to remind myself that I’m gonna do this for myself, and for the people. To remind myself that I want to be on the city council of New Orleans by the time I’m 30. I know it’s a stretch yo, but I bought bigger pants.
Brothers and sisters, whatever it is you are wanting out of this life, has to be worked for. No exceptions. Especially happiness. It is work and it is a choice.
In closing, let’s turn up! Happy New You!
#2016 #whereyouattho #happynewyear #imboutopaintthepicture #nola #youaintready #imcomingout #theramblingmillennial #also #feeltheBern #BernieSandersforpresident